It’s difficult for some of us to make conversations with strangers. Here is what I have learnt from lessons and some ideas to make things work.

Steps to make your conversations

Step1 The first word flood gates

Give an simple greeting words such as Hi, Hey, Hello, etc. with enthusiasm and energy.

My thought

Just be polite. If you have something to say and feel it is difficult to say it. Then you can just make a simple greeting. It can make you feel better, and keep going.

It’s common that male tries to trike a conversation with female, and the conversation does not have an good ending. But just stay calm, don’t let failure kill your minds and enthusiasm.

Sometimes, making up yourself, wearing neat clothes and doing something that can improve your appearance can really improve your experience of conversations.

Step2 Skip the small talk

Asking any kinds of personal questions.

• How long have you lived in this city?

• Do you remember your first day landed here?

• Where do you come from?

• Where does your family live?

• What’s the last time you had coffee?

My thought

Try to find some simple and comfortable topics, and then keep going. You can find the interests of his/her interests. After that, make use of these interests to strengthen your relationship. Keep your speaking speed properly, and don’t rush it.

Step3 Find the me-too

Nothing kills a conversation like negatives. And this is a powerful feeling when you and him/she/them are on the same site of something.

My thought

Keep listening. Usually it would be a little nervous when talking to a stranger, and you lost his/her words. But if you can follow them, you’ll have something to interact with them, which makes the conversations smoother.

Step4 Pay a unique compliment

• I love how you smile. I love your smiling face.

• Your voice is cute, maybe you are good at singing.

My thought

Be careful about the word “unique“. You can tells the truth of the advantage of his/her characteristics.

Step5 Ask for an opinion

Give them a choice.

• What would you do if xxx happens?
• What’s your next stage? What the biggest thing you want to do next?

My thought

It can give others a chance to say something, and give you a break if you just keep speaking just now.

Step6 Be present

Be there, make eye contact and stay participated.

My thought

Stay focused in most of time, and give some feedbacks. For instance, yeah, yes, awesome, and so on. However, you can ask some relevant questions or your personal experience to show your engagement and push the conversation.

Step7 Name, Place, Animal, Thing

Remember these personal information about the one you are talking about.

My thought

Step8 Polite Ending

Become an investor in their well-being and they’ll feel responsible to you to keep that conversation.

• You just make my day.
• Thanks for talking.
• Thank you.

My thought

Anyway, don’t let the other feel you take them as talking robots or tools. Convince them that they are really someone meaningful to you after the conversation.

Reference

7 Ways to Make a Conversation With Anyone | Malavika Varadan | TEDxBITSPilaniDubai